Friday, August 5, 2016

Divorce, Summertime Custodial Transfers and Conflict

Divorce, Summertime Custodial Transfers and Conflict

Summertime is a time for relaxation, time off from school for the kids and vacation.  Summer can be a time of great stress relief, that is unless you have to make custodial transfers or a change in visitation during this season.

I have spoken before about custodial transfers and the importance of keeping your schedule or, if it must change, the importance of having that in writing.  I want to again, however, stress the point of smooth transfer.  I speak in terms of smooth transfer to create a situation of the least amount of stress on the parties, but more importantly, for the well being of the children.

A lot of my clients and other attorneys' clients think that divorce and the fluid nature of the "new" custody arrangement has little or no effect on their kids.  They think that kids are flexible and mostly unaware of any conflict that happens around them.  There are also those clients who choose to take every situation and use it as drama.  They do this for many reasons: some being control, other's as a tool to try to make themselves look good or to spite the other party.

Folks, I am going to tell you today that if this is the way you think you are dead wrong.  The courts speak of the best interest of the child for a reason.  Today's "children of divorce" are getting the short end of the stick.  Kids are not a bargaining chip, they are not a means of control.  This goes for all aspects of divorce including custodial transfers.

Both parents can be good parents.  That doesn't mean they parent the same.  That doesn't mean they cook the same.  It doesn't mean they do homework the same.  The important thing is that each parent loves their children and each parent gives their child permission to love the other parent.  It is hard for children to go from one parent's home to the other.  If you let your child know it is ok to have fun with the other parent and not make them feel like they are abandonning you or betraying you, you will not only gain your child's respect in the long run but you will help them adjust to the reality of life.

When you next go to make a custodial transfer, don't think about getting back at the other party.  Think about your child and make it easier on them.

If you need a family law attorney or a Boise Divorce Attorney, give us a call and see what we can do for you.  (208) 472-2383


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