Can Divorce Mediation Prevent Divorce Litigation?
I have spoken numerous times about the differences between divorce litigation and divorce mediation, but here today I want to expand upon how the mediation can help to prevent litigation.Divorce can bring on a whole myriad of feelings. Often, one of those feelings is the desire for revenge. Too often people are devastated by the feelings of loss and betrayal and the last thing on their minds is to mediate.
What is Mediation and Why Has the Judge Ordered It?
In Idaho, fairly soon after you file for divorce a judge will order the parties to mediation. The parties choose a mediator or one is ordered for them if they cannot agree. A mediator is a neutral third party who helps the parties negotiate an agreement that they both can live by. It can cover parenting schedules, child support, debts and assets as well as any other issue specific to the parties. The mediator helps to take the animosity out of the process of working things out. The judge orders mediation because the parties themselves are the experts on their children and their property. They know what has worked and what does work for them. If the parties can come to an agreement about parenting and how to divide the property and the debts, they have solved the problem themselves. If the judge decides, as he or she would in litigation, you may find yourself with something that doesn't make sense for you, your children and your lifestyle.What if We Can Only Agree on Some Issues?
During mediation, you will find issues that you agree on or can agree to, but there may be a few issues where you come to an impasse. Does that mean the whole thing goes to hell in a handbasket? No, it does not. The mediator will create a document, similar to a contract, where everything you agree to is outlined in detail. Both parties sign this and this is what the judge will order. The issues which aren't resolved or can't be resolved are either further negotiated by each party's attorney when it gets closer to trial and circumstances change or those issues are taken to court and individual issues can be litigated (tried) and the judge will decide.
Can You Mediate if You Can't Stand the Other Party?
Divorce can make you hate or resent your soon to be ex spouse. Perhaps it was the inability of one or both parties to compromise in the first place which has led to divorce. The fact of the matter is, however, if you have children divorce will make you a single person but it won't take away the fact that you will have a life in common with the other party for the rest of your life. The very fact of having children with that person will require you to speak to, negotiate with and compromise with at least until your children are emancipated but even likely after. Think about weddings, college or tech school graduation or the birth of your grandchildren. In each one of those instances you will once again be in contact with the person to whom you used to be married. Mediation helps you to negotiate an agreement with a person you do not particularly like for the good of your children and for, hopefully, a smooth transition through life and the repeated interaction with your ex-spouse.If you are seeking a divorce and need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, please give us a call, 208-472-2383, and see what we can do for you.
